I have been meaning to write this for some time, but never quite got around to it... I will do it soon. Promise.

*Gear Acquisition Syndrome

No musician will ever admit to having enough guitars/drums/keyboards/pedals/plug-ins, etc. You get the picture. It's what we focus on when we all know we should be making music or, as is vital these days, 'marketing' what we have produced on social media in its multifarious forms. It makes us feel as it we are active, functioning rock/pop/soul stars when, in fact, all we are really doing is emptying our rapidly dwindling bank accounts in the pursuit of that one guitar/drum/keyboard/pedal/plug-in that will make all the difference and catapult us, overnight, into the massive, worldwide successes we knew we were all along.

I'm old enough (and ugly enough) to know better, but I fall guilty to a GAS attack at the merest temptation. The fact that Waves, IK Multimedia, Steinberg et al (especial al) now have a direct line of temptation to me just makes their lives easier and mine more difficult. As Oscar Wilde said, I can resist everything but temptation. Oh, and a glass or red wine in my particular case. But I digress...

It's happened again. IK Multimedia, whose products I absolutely love, wrote to me – yes, just to me, nobody else – to inform me that if I bought one of their dinky guitar/computer/iPad interfaces for a mere £79.99 I could download a free – yes, free, Free, FREE! – version of their rather excellent Amplitude Deluxe 4 guitar plug-in suite, which is worth £299.99. You can see where this is going...

Now, I have more ways of getting my guitar strumming efforts into my Mac than I have guitars. But there's always another one, just lurking around the corner, saying 'Come to me, come to me...'

That's why I found myself heading to Maplin to buy an IK Multimedia iRig™HD, and spending £79.99 on something I should be spending on something more useful and 'needed' – a VeinTap Holy Grail pedal for example. I could hardly wait to get home to tap in the serial number and claim my free – yes, free, Free, FREE! – Amplitude Deluxe 4.

It all worked perfectly, Amplitude Deluxe 4 features every possible combination of amplifier, room size and shape, microphone, speaker – there's probably a button for choice of coffee maker which I have yet to find (my choice is Nespresso, despite the parent company's questionable human rights/baby milk reputation – allegedly).

So, for now, I am equipment replete. For now. But hang on, I still haven't had a play with that Waves Electric88 electric piano I bought from, er, Waves for a mere €39... I wonder what it would sound like played through a Marshall JTM amp with a 2x12 Celestion-loaded speakers, in a big room and mic'd up with a combination of Shure, Neumann and AKG miscs? I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, I've got songs to record...

'Til the next time... M#  (that's sharp, not hashtag, btw)